so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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