Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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