My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
