I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
