I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
