from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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