She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Screwed.edu
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
