I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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