I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
