Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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