i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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