Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Buhtt sex?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
