i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
