My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
