East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
