What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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