Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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