did you get engaged???
I'm so fucking centered right now
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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