I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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