Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sarcasm needs its own font
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
