Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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