so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
