I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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