Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
