Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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