Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
