I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
