I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
