Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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