There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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