I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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