God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
