please come you make the beer taste better
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
