What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
a search helicopter?!
So many bounce houses so little time
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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