the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
