She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
