yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
