I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
