do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
