glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize