I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
