before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
