i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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