the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
