Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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