you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
