Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
