he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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