do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize