Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
