I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
