If i could tip my vagina, i would.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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