We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
