That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
