At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
