if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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