was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
