there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize