SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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