Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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