We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize