i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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