He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He is an equal opportunity slut.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
